WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2006 Mel Stabin will be the judge of a watercolor show that I am entering today. One of my emotional "bargaining" consolations to not being able to afford his workshop was going to be the ability to submit something wonderful; some piece that just came together in an exceptional way. Not this year!
Why? I have actually misplaced one of my best loose and direct pieces, the only fresh start I haven't destroyed. Thankfully, I scanned it, but I feel like I've sabotaged myself! This has brought me to the end of my bargaining rope. I am completely undone.
I awoke at 4:00 this morning racking my brain. Then went down to my trysting spot on the couch to converse with Yahweh about it. "How could I have lost this painting; the one Judy Carducci said I should frame? Why did I find printed lyrics about being broken and spilled out (referring to the woman with the alabaster jar, no less) in the spot I thought I had last laid the painting? What are You trying to say?"
In the dark stillness, a song came to my heart, and rest.
Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans I surrender these into Your hands.
For it's only in Your will that I am free. Addendum: months later, I found the painting UNDER THE SCANNER! I had it professionally framed and took it to an Akron Society of Artists critique in December 2007. Judy fell in love with it and bought it on the spot! (She is the lady in grey.) That just about paid for a camping and painting trip with another artist friend in Death Valley in January 2008.